Flip The Switch

When concluding a coaching engagement sponsored by a client’s boss, most coaches facilitate a closing alignment call with the client and the boss. The purpose is to review the client’s growth, discuss continued areas of focus, and discern how the boss can provide on-going support.  

Last week, I witnessed a client who focused almost solely on what he hadn’t accomplished and the continued areas of focus. He wanted to show his boss that he was aware of how much farther he had to go to exhibit brilliant leadership. 

Whoa – wait just a minute! What about the strides he has made? What about the leadership growth he has experienced? What about the lessons he learned when he tried new things that didn’t always going exactly as planned? 

For the last couple of weeks, our blogs have focused on ways we can “catch” ourselves when we negatively judge … ourselves, others, or situations; and on tactics to shift our brain from less judging to more discerning. This client of mine was judging himself for not being enough, not doing enough.  

Beyond shifting from judging to discerning, I offer another type of shift: Rather than focusing on what hasn’t been accomplished, focus on what has gone right, what has been accomplished, and what has been learned from the challenges that are still challenges. In other words, don’t forget to acknowledge–and even celebrate–the many good things that happen when we stretch ourselves. 

In my work with executives, I’ve noticed the concept of taking time to celebrate is foreign to most. They view their time as precious because there never seems to be enough of it; their mile-long to-do lists and the various projects they’ve undertaken consume their attention.  

Taking time to celebrate what has been accomplished can decrease the tendency to judge. Take time to flip the switch and see what happens!  

This Week: At the end of every day, take a few minutes and jot down what you are celebrating about how you showed up. At the end of the week, note one area where you might want to make an adjustment or change. Then, ask yourself how what you celebrated each day can support the change you want to make in the future.