A Discerning D.R.I.V.E.

In last week’s blog, we were reminded that we all have choice in life. And sometimes we choose—often subconsciously—to negatively judge…how we view ourselves, others, or our circumstances. 

We can, however, choose to look at things well and wisely…in other words, to be discerning instead of rushing to judgment. 

Discernment is the process of making careful distinctions about what we notice, tapping into wisdom over reaction. Discerning things—such as the shape of a banana compared to an apple—can be simple. When it comes to people and circumstances, however, we sometimes muddy the waters. Let’s say I make a mistake doing something new and consequently am judged (by others and/or myself) as incompetent. That judgment goes beyond discerning the difference in my ability when performing a new task and infers something negative about my overall abilities. 

Being discerning is, by no means, easy. Keeping your eyes, mind, and heart open to be able to discern (instead of negatively judge) is hard. This can be especially difficult in the business world where quick responses are often rewarded. It’s hard because judging is an innate human function that can happen automatically when we over-strengthen that ‘muscle,’ making it seem efficient. But the act of judging limits our understanding of self, others, and circumstances. 

Being discerning, on the other hand, helps you show up more intentionally. There are neuroscience practices that point to ways you can weaken negative judgment and strengthen discernability. My approach—called “Discerning D.R.I.V.E.” —can motivate or steer you towards a more authentic and compassionate version of YOU: 

1. Discover: Be curious and open to whatever is showing up—internally or externally—without judging or resisting it. 
2. Relate: Engage and connect—with ourselves, others, or circumstances—with compassion and kindness. 
3. Invent: Design or create what you want to happen—within yourself, with others, or for a given situation. 
4. Voyage: Declare and move towards your best self and where you want to go, being intentional about your purpose. 
5. Energize: Listen more to your inner voice when it supports you and aim to tune it out when it doesn’t. 

This Week: When you find yourself negatively judging (yourself, others, or situations), pause and try the “Discerning D.R.I.V.E.” approach. See what shifts for you.