Judge, Jury, and Executioner

I’ve been reflecting on how often we are hijacked by the voices in our head. Neuroscience teaches us about the shortcuts the brain takes to process the enormous amounts of information it processes daily. Unless we pay attention, we fall into patterns and mindsets that do not necessarily serve us.

Recently, a client has been struggling with a mindset that isn’t serving her desired outcomes. Issues that would not normally be a problem had become insurmountable. Digging deeper, we uncovered the Judge, the Jury, and the Executioner to wit:

• Judge: It isn’t fair … this is the way it should be.
• Jury: You don’t have what it takes, and others don’t either.
• Executioner: Your dream isn’t worth the hassle.

It’s no wonder she had stalled. The voices in her head were not supporting her because she judged herself, others, and the circumstances. The cycle needed to be broken.

How often do we find ourselves unintentionally hijacked by our thoughts? More often than most of us realize. The brain is a natural judge: It finds it to be efficient and expedient to judge and then get on with the important stuff. And what does it cost us? It can cost us more than we are aware of – opportunities, relationships, dreams, and more.

Self-awareness is a muscle that needs to be exercised daily. You can break the cycle that limits your view by: taking time to question what you are judging and how; bringing curiosity and grace to the exploration of yourself; and reflecting on how you are relating to others and the circumstances around you.

This Week: Give yourself a gift this Valentine’s Day. Start listening to what you are telling yourself about you, others, and circumstances. Be aware of when you are judging, and step back to consider whether it is in your best interest to do so. Next week, we will address the flip side of judging. Be sure to check that out.