Why Me? The Key to Adaptability

During our seven-month home renovation, my husband, Doug, and I had a key contractor abruptly leave the job. After the initial shock of discovering he wouldn’t be with us until the end, I panicked. My stomach was in knots and my mind raced with ways to figure out how to “fix” the problem. I tried to negotiate with him, I pleaded … to no avail. I lost sleep for days.

And then the phrase that I’ve heard my dad say hundreds of times came to mind: “Things have a way of working out.”

This doesn’t imply that we should throw our arms in the air and surrender to an invisible force. On the contrary. The crux of this mantra is about resilience and adaptability. It discourages victim mentality, invites purposeful reflection, and encourages proactive choice. Sometimes that choice can involve doing things completely out of one’s comfort zone or might require momentary stillness to be open to what’s next. Brilliant leaders have learned to accept unexpected shifts as opportunities.

How often are we thrown curve balls at work? The boss you’ve loved working for has left the company. The presentation you’ve been preparing for weeks has been postponed for a month. The job you’ve had for years is being eliminated. On the surface, reactions can be disappointment, frustration, and anger. 

But what if: Your new boss helps you grow skills you’ve never had. The rescheduled presentation allows you to focus on an important project that’s been neglected. The eliminated job opens doors for you to explore a new passion, one that truly excites you. 

As I look back on tough times in my life where I’ve cried out, “Why me?”, inevitability I realize if that “bad” thing hadn’t happened, this “good” thing wouldn’t have occurred. Sometimes it can take weeks, months, or maybe years to find the correlation. But it’s there if you are resilient and remain adaptable. 

Fast forward three months at our house: I’m even more thrilled with the quality of the work and the people on this job. Things do have a way of  working out.

This Week’s Challenge:  Look back on a time when something didn’t go the way you expected. Find the thread between that instance and where you are now in your life. What do you notice? The next time something doesn’t go the way you anticipated it should, take a deep breath and get curious. What’s possible now? What choice do you want to make?